Baby, I'm in Stitches
by pictureswithboxes
Summary: "You don't know what it's like to be hit with your own pants!"


**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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"Chloe!" Aubrey exclaimed, leaning against the wall of their bedroom. "Hurry up! We're gonna be late!"

"Just hold on." Chloe called from the closet. "I'm almost ready."

Aubrey rolled her eyes and walked over to the closet, throwing the door open only to be met by a flying pair of jeans colliding with her face. The blonde yelped, staggering back into the bedroom and throwing the pants to the ground, before noticing that they weren't even Chloe's, why was Chloe throwing her pants around? She brought her hand up to her forehead, wincing when her fingers ran over where the button and zipper had caught her skin. Aubrey pulled back her hand and glanced down at her fingers, which were now covered with blood.

"Damn it, Chloe, you little shit!" Aubrey shrieked, walking quickly to the kitchen and grabbing some paper towel, bunching it up and pressing it to her forehead.

"What?" Chloe asked, exiting the closet, her eyes widening at the sight of her fiancée, whose paper towel was turning red with her blood quickly. "Oh my god! What did you do?"

"What did I do?" Aubrey exclaimed, wincing a little. "You're the one who threw a pair of jeans at me!"

"Really?" Chloe laughed, not missing the scowl on the blonde's face. "It's just fabric. How can-"

"Pants have buttons and zippers!" Aubrey snapped, peeling the paper towel off the cut and looking at it. "Is it still bleeding?"

"Yeah," Chloe moved to where Aubrey was standing and took a look at the cut on her forehead. "I think you need stitches," Laughter made it's way into Chloe's speech. "After you got hit in the face with a pair of jeans."

"You don't know what it's like to get hit with your own pants!" Aubrey whimpered, flinching as Chloe gently prodded the cut. "That hurts!"

"Yeah, Babe, you need stitches." Chloe said, ignoring the blonde's complaints. "You need to go to the emergency room, Bree. C'mon, get your jacket."

Aubrey begrudgingly put on her jacket and followed Chloe out of the apartment, still applying pressure to her cut as she and the redhead made their way to Chloe's car. Aubrey sat in the passenger's seat, a frown on her face, while Chloe couldn't help but laugh as she started her car and began the short drive to the med-centre.

"I hate you." Aubrey mumbled while they were being checked in. "I hate you so much."

"She's just upset that she got hit with her own pants." Chloe explained to the nurse behind the desk. "The button and the zipper got her, now she's bleeding a lot and it hasn't stopped."

"We'll have a doctor get right with you." The nurse replied, looking at Aubrey as if she'd heard the story before.

It didn't take that long for the doctor to get to Aubrey. As it turned out, Chloe was right, Aubrey needed stitches, six to be exact, and Chloe sat there with her fiancée, holding her hand the whole time. With each prick of the needle, Aubrey's glare got more and more angry and Chloe couldn't help but smile, she had never in her life thought that she and Aubrey would be at the med-centre because of a pants accident.

"I hate you." Aubrey said when they got back in the car. "You're so mean."

"It was an accident." Chloe sighed, starting the car. "I didn't mean to."

"You hit me with my own pants."

"It was a wardrobe malfunction."

"You think you're funny, but you're not."

"You were attacked by pants."

"You threw them!"

"You were in the closet!"

"You were taking too long! Besides, why were you in my half of the closet anyway?"

"I needed a sweater..."

"So you were in my pants drawer?"

"I don't know how you organize things!"

"You're terrible." Aubrey sighed, rolling her eyes at the redhead. "What are we going to tell Amy? She was expecting us."

"We'll tell her the truth." Chloe shrugged, laughing as she did so. "We'll tell her that you got attacked by a pair of pants and-"

"We most certainly will not!" Aubrey snapped, glaring at Chloe.

"We already did." Chloe said, giving the blonde a faux sympathetic look. "I texted her while the doctor was giving you your meds."

"I hate you." Aubrey muttered, leaning back in her seat and crossing her arms.

"Love and hate are just different horns on the same goat."

"You got that from _The Help_."

"It doesn't matter where I got it from, it was deep. Appreciate my wisdom."

"It doesn't take wisdom to scar your fiancée."

"With a pair of pants..."

"Why am I marrying you?"

"Because you love me."

"Meh."

"Don't be a baby."

"I've been attacked by a pair of pants, I can be a baby if I want."

"You're really upset, huh?"

Aubrey gave the redhead a withering look. "What gave you that notion? Was it when we were almost late, or when I was getting stitches at the med-centre?"

"I'm going to say around the time you started sounding like one of the _Fog Horn Leghorn_." Chloe said, parking the car with a grin and looking at the blonde's forehead. "Does it feel better?"

"Yeah." Aubrey nodded, touching the bandage. "I'm sorry I got mad at you, it was an accident."

"I'm sorry that I kept making fun of you." Chloe leaned over the centre console and pressed her lips to Aubrey's.

"I just realized something..." Aubrey mumbled when she pulled away.

"What?" Chloe tilted her head a little, looking confused.

"I got beaten up by a pair of pants." Aubrey laughed, climbing out of the car. "I got beaten up by a pair of pants. Why me? Why is it always me?"

"I don't know, Babe." Chloe sighed, following the blonde's lead and holding out her right hand. "But if it'll make you feel better, I once got bit by a pet rock."

"Surprisingly, I do feel better." Aubrey nodded, looking at the scar on Chloe's middle finger. "A _rock_ did this?"

"His name was Melvin, we had him euthanized."

"A pet rock bit you? How old were you?"

"It was eighth grade."

"Who had a pet rock?"

"My friend. We got in an argument about who got to play with Melvin and he bit me."

"You got bit by a rock, but you make fun of me?"

"You were attacked by your own pants. Nothing that I ever do in my life will ever make that not funny."

"Shut up."


End file.
